From never give up, to it’s time to give in

I am not a quitter. I never have been. I have always believed that you need to follow through on any commitment you ever make. The burning desire to fight tooth and nail, to the bitter end to get through what you are going through. The never give up mentality. This is the message so many of us grew up with. Now I believe that it’s a terrible message to send out to the world. There are many times when sticking it out is the right thing to do, but having it be the end all, be all, is not right. Quitting something that you are suffering through does not make you weak. In fact, it’s the opposite. If something is so incredibly hard, no matter how hard you try to make it work, constantly feeling like you are not heard, like your will to try to help change a situation does nothing, quit. It’s not for you and it’s not about you. You are not with the right people or in the right place. Life shouldn’t be so hard. The universe will push you to your limit, to try to force you out of a situation that is not meant for you. If you choose to fight against it, and try to make it work, that’s what your life will be; a fight. You need to be still, sink down deep inside yourself and really listen. We all have an inner knowing, and it KNOWS. That is what you are really fighting against, your gut. Sometimes we do this because we are afraid of change, sometimes it’s because we have the “never give up” mentality. These schools of thought are right for certain things, but they’re not right for every situation. Staying in a toxic environment that doesn’t align with what your gut knows is right, can and will make you sick, or even die. Moving on from something you wanted at one point, or have known for so long, is hard. But staying in it, is harder in the long run. It’s really not quitting at all, it’s choosing. Choosing to honor yourself. This is brave and necessary, it’s not selfish. You are the only one who will ever think of you first. You have to start treating yourself as such. No more people pleasing and pushing your own desires to the side to accommodate for everyone else’s feelings or needs. You can put a stop to this in a respectful, responsible way. You just have to keep your own needs at the center and not at the bottom of your list. Your inner voice matters, and it can save your life. Just because you can “deal with it” doesn’t make it okay. Yeah, this way of life has made you strong and resilient, but it hasn’t made you happy. I know you don’t like to let people down, neither do I. You were probably raised with an extra helping of guilt and shame, like I was. Living your life as invisible as possible, to try your hardest never to upset anyone. But when you do this, you are upsetting yourself. Stop. Only do things for others that you can do with a loving heart, not out of obligation. Have you ever asked someone to do something for you and they do it but the whole time they seem upset or complain constantly? You can see that their heart is not in it. You can see that they are becoming resentful for saying yes. How does that kind of help feel to you? Does it feel negative and drag you down, even ruin your day? It makes whatever you are setting out to do a million times harder. What about when someone is visibly happy to be helping you? Does it make your load lighter? Not just the work to be done, but your energy, your attitude? This is the type of help that people need and want. When you choose to put yourself first and not overextend yourself, you have the energy to choose the things that you actually want to help someone with. Choose you, and you will not only make life easier, you will also be able to give the best of yourself to others.

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